“isn’t there enough cock online?”

So already I’ve had the response that if I’m upset about the lack of male photos for the female gaze I’m just not looking hard enough! and I decided that before we go any further I wanted to address this.

Discussing this project, particularly on Fetlife, has led to an amusing game of how many “Derailing for Dummies” techniques can we throw out there in one thread. I’ve enjoyed watching maymay play this game, but it’s still frustrating that the game exists. To date, some of the responses we’ve gotten have hit these ones:

Unless you can prove that your experience is widespread I won’t believe it

You’re being overly intellectual

Don’t you have more important issues to think about

But it’s true!

I’m just saying what other people believe, I never said I agree

And, of course, “You have an agenda“. To which I can only respond yes, I do; please read the mission statement to get an idea of what it is. 😛

But of course, it only took a day to get the response, which is basically summed up by:

“Haha, you really can’t find enough dick on the internet to make you happy?”

So here. I want to give you an example of what I found when I did 4 searches- “sexy man“, “sexy man for women“, “sexy guy“, and “sexy dick for women“. As a bonus, I also looked up “sexy women“, results of that at the end of the post. Top 3 results in each category.

Apologies for how image-heavy this will be!

Sexy Man:

Sexy Man for Women:

Sexy Guy:

Sexy Dick for Women:

Ok then! So, what has this experiment taught us?

-That fat or hairy male bodies aren’t sexy, but humourous (both images came from humour sites)

-That if you’re looking for a sexy man, he’s probably going to be white, chiseled, and hairless

-That if you’re looking at a sex act, the only time it won’t focus on the woman is if the woman isn’t there

-That the #1 image when you look for “sexy dick for women” comes from a gay porn site, and the #1 image when you look up “sexy man for women” is of a woman. WTF?

So when I say, “not dick presented in a way that’s appealing to me, no,” this is what I mean. It isn’t so easy to find what I like, and really hard to find things that weren’t presented to a gay market first and foremost. And sometimes I’ve run into that even with places that are marketed for women- the second image under “sexy man” came from a female erotic author’s website, and while I don’t know what else is there, but I worry that For the Girls has gone down a similarly buff, mostly white path.

So yeah. That’s why I feel so strongly about this. And I find it fascinating that as a fat woman, being in erotic photos that aren’t degrading, where I’m having fun, is often seen as a positive thing… but when guys get involved there’s an uproar of “think of teh menz!”

I mean, hey, with all these images of women out there, why bother supporting queer porn, right? I should be satisfied by the mass media produced concept of “sexy women“, cause if I find women hot, these should do it for me! And really, who needs diversity?

Sexy Women:

 

 

 

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12 Responses to “isn’t there enough cock online?”

  1. Ellie says:

    Well, I’m glad you’re doing this project and I’ll be thrilled to have more images to look at. Did you really expect anything different from FetLife photographers, though?

  2. I will be accused of derailing but your research was not very extensive.

    We all know that to find the porn we like online we have to look around carefully.

    Yes the dominant male body is buff, hairless, young, white. That is not because ‘women’ are not catered for it is just how the culture is. I think it is great to produce a variety of types of images of a variety of bodies.

    BUt your frames of reference and claims of sexism against the ‘female gaze’ I do not accept.

    • That’s why I posted the female images as well, btw- because I wanted to show how narrow these ideal are regardless of gender.

      HOWEVER- that’s not what this project is about. It’s about making these things easier to find, in the way that malesubmissionart.com worked to make images of male submission with a focus on the male easier to find. You may not think this project is important or necessary, but *a lot of heterosexual women do*. Maybe they aren’t intellectualizing their desires, but honestly? They shouldn’t have to simply because they’re women.

  3. My searches online aren’t intellectual, they are simply pragmatic! I just meant that googling is an art whatever we are looking for. And I am an artful googler.

    I will find some links of stuff I like and send them over. No more nay-saying from me!

  4. Matt W says:

    You make a very good point. What do you think of http://sexisnottheenemy.tumblr.com/ ?

  5. here are some links to sites I like. I won’t intellectualise except to say I often find other sites/images via the people who run the blogs, or people who comment on them. It is my way of navigating the labrynth with some trusted perverts as my guides:

    http://www.str8bro.net/page/2

    http://www.turkishwrestling.com/

    http://hotguysreadingbooks.tumblr.com/post/6777377389

    http://www.marksimpson.com/

    http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/page/2

    http://jamesmaker.blogspot.com/

    http://homosuperior.tumblr.com/

    @homo_superior posts links to pics of hot guys on twitter

    http://mattlodder.tumblr.com/

    http://www.stevenzeeland.com/

    http://tomasshawkke.blogspot.com/

  6. If I repeated my comment, sorry. I can’t see it come up.

  7. (It is probably as it had so many links in! The second list was the final one!!)

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